Shoe-Bee Shoe-Bee DON’T

 

Bryan Viper, Style Dude at Large

 

I am pleased to introduce a male point of view to my blog, because quite frankly the men who read my blog have been begging me for it and I’ll do anything to shut them up. HA. 

Introducing Bryan Viper, and yes, that is his real name. He is a fellow New Yorker and if you listen to him, as you do to me, you stand to save yourself from endless style faux pas. His own fabulous blog can be read and enjoyed by clicking on the highlighted “fabulous blog” link above. He is a multi-faceted creative force to be reckoned with and please do your best to make him feel at home by following him on Twitter here. Thank you, Bryan! 

Summer Footwear Flops.

 

Happy Memorial Day

 

I get it. Memorial Day weekend, that wonderful holiday that we all celebrate each year though most of you don’t realize it is supposed to be a day of remembrance for those who fought and died protecting our freedoms. I’m thankful for them and others, as it has shifted to be a more general day for remembering anyone who has died. I guess for most, it’s really the kick-off to summer and this naturally demands party settings and grilled something or other. Grab your favorite drink & sit back for a minute while I jump on a soapbox for a minute or four.

Summer footwear in an urban setting is the topic. Admittedly, I’m not a “foot” guy, not even close. That’s one fetish I never cultivated, and quite frankly, I think all feet are pretty gross. My loss, maybe, but as they say, “to each his own.” That’s not to say that I can’t appreciate footwear. Hell, I even understand the foot fetish, so I can be somewhat empathetic to the cause. Do what you want, but I might have a thing or two to say about it. Summer brings the ugly out in footwear and these are my worst offenders.

Flip-flops.

 

photo by: Bryan Viper

 

Sounds like a dirty word with its smarmy hyphenated self. When the mercury rises, they rear their flippity floppity faces on men and women alike. Answer me this: what the hell are you thinking wearing these things in white? Your feet are as dirty as a pig’s and it shows in stark contrast to your [now] much duller white. For all the ladies who like to look nice, then what are you thinking? The guys? Are you kidding me? Dude, you’ve either been brainwashed or you’re just lacking any taste. In my mind, you might as well be one of those Capuchin monkeys all dressed up inappropriately, begging for peanuts and change.

Toe shoes.

Have you seen these things? In the last month, I’ve seen a few pair pounding the pavement and they look so odd. I understand the science behind them, but damn—that’s some funny looking stuff when you see someone on the sidewalk wearing them. They’re called FiveFingers, which is weird. They’re toes. Did someone get his or her phalanges mixed up? Go climb something, do yoga or all of their other suggested uses, but putting mileage on the sidewalks just looks ridiculous and who needs to feel the sidewalk better anyway? Don’t tell me you really want to know how that dried pigeon crap feels on your toes. I laugh a little each time I see them, and I always enjoy public entertainment when I can laugh at your expense.

Crocs.

I can’t even begin to comment. They look great on pre-schoolers. By kindergarten though, please leave them on the playground and step up to big girl or boy shoes. Please don’t tell me that you wear them too. Next—Birkenstocks. Step away from your patchouli stash, tell me that you’ve bathed at least once this week and you do more with your time than hugging trees. All I’m sayin’!

This is New York City. I understand you want comfort, but aren’t the so-called “beautiful people” supposed to “step up their game” in this town? Can’t you try to make the landscape a little better looking by not running around with your Flintstone feet? Don’t think adding socks or hosiery of any type will help these products either. I’ve seen that mess and still laugh about it. Ladies, wear a nice sandal and keep up your manicure. Guys, if you gotta wear something more open for summer, take care of your gnarled claws. No one wants to get sick looking at your nasty stuff; better yet, just wear shoes.

As I often say, “Just Because You Can, Doesn’t Mean You Should.” Think about that before walking out your door next time. This is only my opinion and it’s not meant to offend, but if the ugly shoe fits…

I need it, I want it, It will be mine!

Simply Irresistible

Gathered Front Top

 

You know what I’m talking about. You see it. It catches your eye. Gives you a little wink. Whispers “come here and look at me…you know you want to.” It could be in a window, catalog, store, or on an actual person. You walk away. Try to forget it, thinking you can’t possibly need more in your closet. But you can’t. The catalog haunts you. You walk half a mile out of your way just to pass that store window. You need it. You want it. You have to have it. It will be yours.

Vintage Heart Necklace

 

Here are a few items that have winked at me lately. As always, click on the item and BOOM! you will go directly to their website. I’ll try to update a few into this category every couple of weeks, or as long as my credit card holds out. Haha. I may have to break out the one frozen in a block of ice in the freezer.

This beautiful Boden Gathered Front Top is available in several colors. It goes well with several pieces of mine. I’ll show you two. 

Lucky Zoe Flare Jeans

 

I do a lot of jewelry work in purples, greens and blues, http://www.sueanneshirzay.etsy.com  and most of the stuff from Boden goes with what I make. If you’re not familiar with them, they are a company based in the U.K., have a really nice understanding of color, carry up to a size 18 or 20, I believe, and they are awesome. Http://www.bodenusa.com 

Courtney Chandelier

 

May I have a moment of silence. My favorite jeans on the planet are Lucky Jeans. Am I Lucky because I wear the jeans, or are they Lucky because I am wearing them? This I do not know. I only know that I must have at least 10 pairs in 5 or 6 different styles. They are what I live in and they are fabulous. Here are the Zoes. Sweet and Lows are great, and so are Lolas. They come in all kinds of different washes. Sign up for their emails because they do have great sales 3 or 4 times a year.

Tory Burch Miller Thong

 

Last but not least, shoes. Now, I’m not a shoe person per se. I mean, I’m more of a boot person when it comes to extreme footwear shopping. But I also have a little problem overbuying flip-flop, sandal,  and thong type shoes because I live by the beach. They had these out last year and I didn’t buy them. And hated myself for it. This year, I will. I just love the cutout detail and the color. They will be mine. Oh, yes, they will be mine.

What are you lusting after for spring? What’s the one that got away for Winter? Please share your thoughts with me by commenting. Send any style or jewelry questions to sueanneshirzay3@gmail.com

Happy Shopping!

Conquering Your Closet

In the beginning, God created closets. Now, for many of us, a closet is a friendly happy place, full of fond retail therapy memories. But, if you have a busy life and are naturally disorganized, like me, sometimes a closet can be a place where you can

The Bella

only find one shoe, when you really need two, and your favorite jeans go missing for an entire week. I overhauled my closet a few years back, and am now at peace with my inner closet. Before we get started talking about which goes jewelry goes with what, you will need to know what you have to work with. Let’s dig in and organize your closet.

There are five things you need to buy, other than my jewelry, www.sueanneshirzay.etsy.com just to make me happy. You DO want me to be happy, DON’T you?

1. Buy wooden hangers. They have them really cheap at Ikea or Target. When you invest a little in a hanger, it’s better for your clothes, looks uniform, easier to see things as they hang. The one exception is that you can hang your sleeveless tops and dresses on those plastic hangers with plastic notches so they don’t fall off the hanger. From the Container Store www.containerstore.com  buy clear plastic shoe boxes for your shoes. Buy a few fabric covered stackable topless boxes for your undies. I think I got mine from Crate and Barrel or Hold Everything. Clear sleeved hanging handbag holders can be found at the Container Store as well.

2. Take every single thing out of the closet and put it on your bed or floor. Or both. No, do not try to get away with leaving the shoes in there. You WILL be getting rid of some. Take them out. NOW, young lady. NOWWW.

3. Look at everything. With the exception of evening dresses, if you have not worn it in a year, if it doesn’t fit you, and can’t be altered or if it’s really hideous and people mock you every time you wear it, give it to a friend or the needy. If it was expensive, sell it on eBay so you can buy more cool stuff. *Waving hands frantically* I will accept any and all Gucci donations, by the way. I’m not proud. I’ll MAKE that size 4 jacket fit me. Eyeroll. 

4. Sort everything. Here are the categories: pants, jeans,  long-sleeved shirts,  short-sleeved shirts, sleeveless shirts, jackets, sweaters, dresses, formal dresses, shoes, boots, bags, regular undies, special undies, (wink wink) workout clothes, things that need to go to the tailor, receipts, pens and makeup that wound up in your closet but don’t really belong there. Put them in a plastic shoe box to deal with later.  Last but not least, Jewelry. (sound of choir singing) I keep sterling in plastic baggies to prevent oxidation, and put them in a clear shoebox. Everything else goes into clear tower drawer thingie I have on a closet shelf.  Container Store again. Your fine jewelry should never be kept in your closet. Lock it up or hide it in the house. Just don’t forget where you put it, for Pete’s sake. Crying and jewelry do not mix. Not at all. Now pay attention. 

5. One by one, place the clothing items on hangers. YES you are hanging everything. NO you will not wear it if it’s folded up. You know you won’t. Stop pretending drawers work for you if they do not. I’m not a drawer person. If you are, then go ahead

Hello Gorgeous Labradorite Earrings

and put things in drawers. I never wear anything that’s in a drawer except bathing suits and socks, because if I can’t SEE it, it’s not THERE. Hang up each group. As you hang them up,  arrange them BY COLOR from light to dark. Now you will see very quickly what you have too much of. You will find several things that you had no idea you still owned. Your WILL find your BFFs shirt that you borrowed six months ago. When I did this overhaul for my mother’s closet, she was shocked to see that she had 18 pairs of black pants. Who knew? 

6. Get one of those hanging handbag holders to save space, they’re awesome. Put those shoes into plastic boxes with the exception of your running shoes, because you know you won’t make it to the gym if those shoes aren’t out and taunting you each and every day. 

7. When you’re done, reward yourself.  You deserve it!  I suggest chocolate, coffee and a manicure, because you just screwed up your nail polish and you’re starving. Congratulations!  : )