What about my boobs?

Hooter Management 101

Boden Textured Cotton Shift

 

We all have them.  Big ones, little ones, real ones, paid-for ones. Boobs. If we have big ones, we want smaller ones, if we have tiny ones we want our cups to runneth over. If you do not want your name associated with the words “Hoochie” and “Mama” please pay attention, this post is for you.

Dressing around breasts is not as easy as it seems if you happen to be well…stacked. You get shirt gaps, you get front wrinkles where you don’t want them, and nightmares of all nightmares, you actually have

Passionfruit Golden Bee Necklace. Because it's a ribbon necklace, the length is adjustable.

 

 to pay attention to what is going on with your jewelry as it relates to your cleavage. If you’re relatively

 flat chested, no worries. You can wear anything and look fantastic.

If you’re chesty, you have to figure out how long chains need to be, if you can do chunky or skinny pieces, and how to surreptitiously remove your pendant that gets stuck in between the girls with the popcorn at the movie. 

Lane Bryant Cardigan. A great example of defining the waist and a great necklace length.

 

The most important thing is to find bras that will keep the twins locked and loaded. Especially if you are a D-cup or over, you WILL look 10 lbs. heavier if your breasts are not supported, and unfortunately my jewels will only emphasize this if they are hanging right on top of the sag sisters. So hoist those puppies up with a well fitted bra. If you have put on or lost any weight recently, or look like you have a uniboob, or worse, four breasts, guess what- you need a new bra. Bloomingdales has the best selection of well-made bras, and some are absolutely gorgeous AND supportive in my humble opinion. www.bloomingdales.com.

After that, take care to find tops that are fitted to your shape. No need to put a tent on. You will look enormous. Try to find tops that have a V, or a scoop. Crew tops will emphasize your chest if they end high on your neck. You want the eye to be drawn DOWN emphasizing your length, not your width. Especially unflattering is anything with a front yoke. This is an evil  trend that will make you will look pregnant. Same with

Tourmaline nugget multi-colored long necklace

 

swing tops, just say NO. You’ll need to define your waist when you are chesty, otherwise your top half just looks like a big rectangle in clothes. If you have a blouse that gaps between buttons, you will need to go up a size or two and enlist a tailor to take in the side seam. Shopping will take longer. you will have to try on more things to get a good fit. Patience is required. It’s better to have a few well-fitting pieces than a closet full of ill-fitting mistakes that you never want to wear. Hint: If your back looks lumpy, the shirt is too small. This is a bit of a pet peeve with me when I see people out. If there is any chance of your bra showing in the front, then it’s cut too low. That would seem to be common sense, yet I see it happening all the time.

As far as chain length, shorter chains needs to hit 1″ above the cleavage or less. For most people this is 16-18″. It can be as long as 20″ for a taller person. I call this the Neck-to-Boob-Ratio. It’s very scientific. Ha Ha. For longer chains, I recommend they hit near or below the navel. but if you are layering, some can be a little shorter. For most people this is between 42″ and 48″, unless you have a really long torso. The great thing about my necklaces http://www.etsy.com/shop/SueanneShirzay?section_id=5517431 is that they can be made to order in any length you want. Of course you don’t want them to be so long they get caught up in a belt buckle.

I hope this helped you and the girls.  Please feel free to email me any questions and/or clothing pictures if you want to know …Does this look good on me? to sueanneshirzay3@gmail.com

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2 Comments on “What about my boobs?”


  1. […] so to speak, in my own way during National Trollop Prevention month in August, and in several cleavage related posts, it is no surprise to me that now that it’s September, Ines didn’t get the memo. […]

  2. Jorden Says:

    Thanks


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