Prison People

Four signs you are in Style Rut and how to break free.

 

NOO! Just No. No. No.

 

A prison person  is someone who wears basically the same thing every day. There is a reason people in prison wear the same thing every day, THEY ARE BEING PUNISHED. I covered most of these points on the Film Ladd Radio Show yesterday in my weekly style segment. (I’m in the last half hour) Listen and learn as he compares himself to Einstein : ) in the previous link or read the following. 

Here are just a few signs you are in a rut and how to break free.

1. Nobody you ALREADY know has told you “damn, you look good” in more than 2 months

If you are out in the world and you look fabulous, it’s perfectly reasonable for someone to tell you that you look fantastic each and every single day. The twenty-somethings who drive by when you’re waiting for the school bus, the fedex guy, the guy in line at the bagel place, SOMEBODY ought to be commenting on how you look.
P.S. Brownnosing from somebody who works under you or wants something from you, like money, doesn’t count.

2. You own more than 2 identical clothing items. Like 10 pairs of
of the same khaki pants. Or 15 shirts promoting a movie. 16 black sweaters

Many people have 20 pairs of something in their closet but if your closet isn’t organized you would never know.
By the way people who wear black every day are a particularly sad case. They suffer from Johnny Cash Syndrome

3. You wear the same jewelry every day, or worse, you never wear jewelry at all.

My New Labradorite and Garnet Marrakech Earrings

 

As a jewelry designer I have met people who longingly look at my jewelry only to announce they always wear the same thing every day, or worse they rarely wear jewelry. Some people have metal allergies. Too bad! There IS such thing as a good rashes. Ha! Buy and wear jewelry. : )

4. You haven’t been shopping in 6 months.
Too busy, can’t decide, no money. These same people will spend $2000 on a TV but dress like the unibomber. Please, people.

How to break out and rid yourself of your rut

1. Get married.

Yes, I realize this may sound drastic, But I know of no bettter way to change your appearance overnight. I call this the I love you, you’re perfect, now change syndrome. If you are already married, just move to Utah and do it again.

2. Have a child under the age of 10 dress you for two weeks straight

What’s that you say? You don’t have kids in that age bracket? There’s this place called the playground. Now, some parents won’t be too thrilled to let you remove their kids and there is this unfortunate thing called the AMBER ALERT now. But you can always take the contents of your pathetic closet to the playground and hang them on the monkey bars. I guarantee you they will not pick out the black shirt and black pants, or the white shirt and jeans you’ve been sporting nearly every day.

3. Actually go shopping and take advantage of the stores’ personal shopper

Most stores now offer personal shoppers for people who are really busy or just plain clueless. Even if they don’t have a designated personal shopper, will it kill you to just ask an employee for help? What are they going to do, say NO?

4. Throw up catalog, watch it land, and buy whatever is on the page it opens up on.

No, not the Sharper Image catalog. JCrew should ease you into some semblance of fashion normalcy. Anthropologie is my favorite, as you may know.

5. Get rid of half the stuff you own and start over

Just call it a day! Give up half your stuff to charity or ebay, or a sister you don’t particularly care for, and start over.

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One Comment on “Prison People”

  1. @hipcop Says:

    I need to “Get rid of half my stuff and start over” I just have to!! I have boys and it’s hard to shop but it dawn on me that in every picture of me I’m wearing my *favorite* black shirt! This was awesome and the right kick in the pants to get me going!! Thank You


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