Top 10 Things that Make Women Look Old

Can wearing the wrong thing actually make you look older than you are? 

The answer, is… darlings, absolutely YES. 
Here are the Top Ten things that make you look old , if you are a woman. Men… You’ll get your turn next. 

1. Visible panty lines

A lined butt is an old looking butt. I don’t care who you are or how your butt looks. 


Insects belong on necklaces, not stuck on your face


2. Bright pink lipstick/heavy makeup

Incredibly outdated. Makes any wrinkles you do have look much worse. Plus small insects can get stuck on your face. Not good. 

3. Using a really old cell phone

Come on. They are called Smart Phones because smart people use them. Smart and not old. 

4. Baggy Clothes

If you can hide a large ham under your blouse, it’s time to downsize. Get something that fits. 

5. Arm candy more than 15 years younger than you.

The rule for dating or marrying a younger man is half your age plus 7. or…3 if you’re a man magnet. I mean… Do you really want to be asked if that’s your grandson?

5. Pantyhose


6. Undereye circles

Nothing will age you more than grey circles under your eyes. Get some concealer, and have a pro match it to your skin tone. 

7. Short hair, Long hair, Grey hair

Depends on your face shape, but usually anything TOO long, TOO short or TOO grey will add years on your face. 

8. Scrunchies in your hair

They should be banned.

9. Leggings

These don’t even look good on great legs…

10. TIE between bike shorts and fanny packs

So 80’s. Unless you are actually on a bike, please don’t wear these. The combination of the two is particularly lethal.

Thanks, dolls! Smooches!

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4 Comments on “Top 10 Things that Make Women Look Old”

  1. Amanda Says:

    How about shapeless “Mom jeans” that reach up to your chest?

  2. Florentina Says:

    This is so true, every woman should read this & memorize!

  3. Corey Says:

    why did you post all the problems I’d been emailing you about.. you said that they were PRIVATE!! hahahahahah Oh the things I have seen in my court… i should start taking pictures :))))) -SMOOCHES

  4. All great points! My pet peeves: orange-y striped highlights on blonde hair; badly tailored clothing with seams pulled too tight or threads etc visible and a too-long jacket over a suit! And totally agree with Amanda!! MOM JEANS may be #1. 🙂

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