Prison People

Four signs you are in Style Rut and how to break free.

 

NOO! Just No. No. No.

 

A prison person  is someone who wears basically the same thing every day. There is a reason people in prison wear the same thing every day, THEY ARE BEING PUNISHED. I covered most of these points on the Film Ladd Radio Show yesterday in my weekly style segment. (I’m in the last half hour) Listen and learn as he compares himself to Einstein : ) in the previous link or read the following. 

Here are just a few signs you are in a rut and how to break free.

1. Nobody you ALREADY know has told you “damn, you look good” in more than 2 months

If you are out in the world and you look fabulous, it’s perfectly reasonable for someone to tell you that you look fantastic each and every single day. The twenty-somethings who drive by when you’re waiting for the school bus, the fedex guy, the guy in line at the bagel place, SOMEBODY ought to be commenting on how you look.
P.S. Brownnosing from somebody who works under you or wants something from you, like money, doesn’t count.

2. You own more than 2 identical clothing items. Like 10 pairs of
of the same khaki pants. Or 15 shirts promoting a movie. 16 black sweaters

Many people have 20 pairs of something in their closet but if your closet isn’t organized you would never know.
By the way people who wear black every day are a particularly sad case. They suffer from Johnny Cash Syndrome

3. You wear the same jewelry every day, or worse, you never wear jewelry at all.

My New Labradorite and Garnet Marrakech Earrings

 

As a jewelry designer I have met people who longingly look at my jewelry only to announce they always wear the same thing every day, or worse they rarely wear jewelry. Some people have metal allergies. Too bad! There IS such thing as a good rashes. Ha! Buy and wear jewelry. : )

4. You haven’t been shopping in 6 months.
Too busy, can’t decide, no money. These same people will spend $2000 on a TV but dress like the unibomber. Please, people.

How to break out and rid yourself of your rut

1. Get married.

Yes, I realize this may sound drastic, But I know of no bettter way to change your appearance overnight. I call this the I love you, you’re perfect, now change syndrome. If you are already married, just move to Utah and do it again.

2. Have a child under the age of 10 dress you for two weeks straight

What’s that you say? You don’t have kids in that age bracket? There’s this place called the playground. Now, some parents won’t be too thrilled to let you remove their kids and there is this unfortunate thing called the AMBER ALERT now. But you can always take the contents of your pathetic closet to the playground and hang them on the monkey bars. I guarantee you they will not pick out the black shirt and black pants, or the white shirt and jeans you’ve been sporting nearly every day.

3. Actually go shopping and take advantage of the stores’ personal shopper

Most stores now offer personal shoppers for people who are really busy or just plain clueless. Even if they don’t have a designated personal shopper, will it kill you to just ask an employee for help? What are they going to do, say NO?

4. Throw up catalog, watch it land, and buy whatever is on the page it opens up on.

No, not the Sharper Image catalog. JCrew should ease you into some semblance of fashion normalcy. Anthropologie is my favorite, as you may know.

5. Get rid of half the stuff you own and start over

Just call it a day! Give up half your stuff to charity or ebay, or a sister you don’t particularly care for, and start over.

Pajamification Nation Proclamation

 

One nation, under flannel, ….”sound of record being scratched by needle”

No! Just... NO!

 

All right people. There is a serious problem plaguing this country of ours. It’s not Political, it’s not about Healthcare. It’s not even about people who tweet what they are having for breakfast, lunch and dinner on Twitter. It’s so much worse.

It’s about pajamas. 

Who in the fashion underworld decided it was okay to wear pajamas in lieu of clothing? They’re at the supermarket, I see them at the movies, at the car wash, at the beach, at the Mall.

Pajama people.

They sport polar bears, hearts, SpongeBob, for crying out loud. And of course, plaid. Rivers and seas and oceans of plaid flannel. These are adults. I’m not talking about teenagers. 

They are the slackers of the fashion world and they must be dealt with accordingly.

I offer up this, my own Pajamafication Proclamation. Ye who shalt wearith pajamas in public over the age of 18 shall be subjected to a pajama tax. No, not the wearer him or herself. No. Every family member of the offender should be taxed $50 every time those pajamas hit the streets. The families must put a stop to this insanity. Pajama interventions must happen and they must happen NOW. Just think, state income tax could be reduced greatly if we would just tax the Pajama People. Or, just give all the money directly to the soup kitchens. Hell, homeless people dress better than these pajama people do, so it’s an apt solution. 

New Tropicana Necklace in my online shop

 

And do you know what the worst thing about pajamas is? Nobody wears jewelry with pajamas! These people are out to destroy jewelry, people. My livelihood. JEWELRY! It’s a conspiracy that must be ended and ended today. No more Pajamas in Public. 

To hear more about this issue, please listen to me on the last half hour of the Film Ladd radio show from last week.
I say my piece in my now weekly 15 minute segment. The show is on daily from 3-5 EST. I’m on Wednesdays at 4:28 EST.

Let me know where you stand on this very important threat to our Nation in the comment section below.

Who let me on the airwaves?

 

Tune in Wednesday, 4:28 EST!

 

So, basically, some fool, er, I mean, really smart intellectual filmmaker kind of guy with an appreciation for humor and style…has decided the world needs to hear what I think about style on any given day. On the radio. In particular, tomorrow. Wednesday, 3/17/10 at 4:28 EST. His name is Ladd Ehlinger Jr.  and believe me…this is sure to be a 20 minute laugh extravaganza. So tune in. You can listen via Ustream, if you do not happen to live in Alabama, which is where the broadcast originates.  I set up Ustream in 4 minutes on my Mac. His other guest is a Politician, Les Phillip.  I have viewpoints regarding style and politicians. They may be of interest of you. Or… we may talk about why vodka tastes better if it’s directly from the freezer. I have no idea. You know how random I am… JUST TUNE IN. 

And… click on the link below to get to the ON AIR thingie, or on the picture on the left to get to the main show website. CIAO!! 

UPDATE!!! I made it through the show without making a complete and utter fool of myself… I think. Okay, I’m not sure. You decide. Here are the mp3 and video files. I contributed my two cents during my call-in segment in the last half hour of the show.  I have been asked to be the in-house style guru .. so you will be hearing more from me each and every Wednesday 4:28 E.S.T.  I’m really sorry. : ) 

Taming the Bathing Suit Beast

Here are a few handy tips to consider while purchasing your swimwear this year. I apologize for the sound, this is very low tech, and it was windy! I did add the approximate text below the video.

Thanks to JANE for suggesting I talk about this dilemma, and congratulations to her for winning my first $50 gift certificate giveaway from my jewelry website!!!

To be considered for a gift certificate, please leave ideas in the comments section of this blog, and subscribe to the blog where it says email subscription. (or email them at sueanneshirzay3@gmail.com) If I select the topic  you are eligible to win a gift certificate. I will give out AT LEAST one per month. Good luck and happy shopping!!!

Here is the text, most of which is covered in the video:

Guess what, Girls? Spring break is almost here, and after that comes SUMMER. Time to do what strikes FEAR and TERROR into the hearts of women everywhere. That’s right….BUYING AND WEARING A BATHING SUIT.

Taming the Bathing Suit Beast. TOP Tips to consider while buying SWIMWEAR

Try to avoid ordering bathing suits from a catalog. They don’t even look good on the model, how are they going to look good on you? Go somewhere where someone will actually help you find the best fit, like an actual bathing suit store. Yes, at first the screaming and/or laughing in the fitting room next to you may be a little bit disconcerting, but you do really need to try on 10 suits sometime to get the best fit. And the salespeople are trained to help you.

If you must buy from a catalog buy at least 4 and send back the ones you don’t like. Remember bathing suit sizes generally run a size smaller than clothing so you have to buy one size up from your dress size. Don’t worry. There will be some you don’t like. You won’t keep them all.

Get one that won’t fall apart in the hottub, fall off while you are surfing, swimming or running, or ploomph up while you are trying to swim. I have some of those ploompy skirts. And…Is there anything more embarrassing that asking somebody to FIND and GIVE YOU your bathing suit bottom back.  I DON’T THINK SO!!

Don’t wear a girdle bathing suit, they are for insecure people .

What ever fat you are trying to hide will just ploomph up at your neck or down to your thighs, so it’s just not a good idea. You won’t be able to breath. I like breathing. Breathing is FUN. “Just Breathe”

Dont think you need to look like a swimsuit model

You are not being PAID to look fantastic in a swimsuit, are you?  They are. They have airbrushing and they are 20 years old. Get over it. you look fantastic just as you are.

DO buy one that actually covers the things that are supposed to be covered, unless the things that are supposed to be covered look really good, and then, who CARES? Show them!

BUT… You don’t want some kid on the beach pointing to your chest and screaming “Mommy! Mommy!” Support what needs supporting. If you have a short torso, this needs to be taken into consideration. Balance the top of the suit with the bottom of the suit. Make sure you look at the back in the mirror and make sure you are covering what needs to be covered.

Don’t buy an old lady bathing suit if you are not an old lady. It’s not 1928. the bathing suit is  NOT supposed to go down to your knees. There is NO reason to cover all that up.

Don’t buy a one piece if you could be wearing a bikini.

Don’t buy one with lots of bells and whistles… gold or siver lame, leopard print, lots of jewels and stuff. it just isn’t good. If you see people LAUGHING AT YOU or they say NICE SUIT, alot…that’s how you know you went overboard.

Have fun and see you at the Beach!

The Good, The Bad and the Ugly – Oscar Ovation

I was very happy to see all of my favorite movie stars looking spectacular last night on the red carpet. Well,

Maggie Gyllenhaal in Dries Van Noten

 

almost everybody. Here’s the thing about style, in my humble opinion. Guess What? It’s not about how the dress would look on YOU…it’s about how the dress looked on THEM. What I’m saying is… as you read my comments, remember that this is about Personal Style. Anybody can throw on a boring dress and look pretty damn good. The dresses I picked out as the best are the ones that look amazing on the person wearing them. They took a little risk. Did a little something different. And by the way, not all these pictures are that great. You really had to see them on camera, moving in the dress, smiling, and being fabulous. 

Maggie Gyllenhaal is a unique actress with a unique style. She rarely disappointments me with her fashion choices. This Dries Van Noten dress was fun, interesting, draped well, and looked so pretty with her eyes and skin tone. With a dress like this you need to keep the hair, makeup, and jewelry – Fred Leighton- pretty simple, and she did.

Diane Kruger in Chanel Couture

 

Diane Kruger is going to get a lot of Flak for her choice, but I’m not afraid to disagree with the Pack on this one. I loved everything about her in this Chanel Couture dress. The black playing against the pale peach color, the crazy beautiful detail in the dress, which, as couture, is really more of a piece of art than a dress, let’s face it, and the way she positively glowed, even though Quentin Tarrantino was her date, ha ha.

Meryl Streep in Chris March

 

Meryl Streep’s choice just goes to show you what class, taste and style looks like at any age. She was sporting a simple white stunner from Chris March, a Fashion Runway alum. Not only do I admire the fact that Meryl has managed to be an amazing actress and mother, pulling off quite the balancing act for years, but Hell, I have to admire a woman who can get away with wearing WHITE  in March, because God knows I can’t. I have to have a little color on my skin. Not Meryl… she looked divine. The draping was perfect, and it was SO HER.

With evening wear, oftentimes the best jewelry is diamonds, diamonds and more diamonds. When you’re wearing a spectacular dress, you don’t want to start a competition with crazy jewelry. Simple is better. I did absolutely love Jeff Bridge’s wife’s large and beautiful turquoise and diamond earrings, however. They were probably the highlight of my jewelry evening. 

As far as the dresses, I DIDN’T like, I really thought Miley Cyrus’s choice was pretty awful as well as Charlize Theron’s. No need to show pictures to repeat the horror. But we can’t win them all, and I always admire someone who takes a risk rather than being dull. 

Feel free to comment as always! Double air kiss! : )

Whaddaya Want from Me?

Hey! Here’s my first video blog.. I’ve got tons of ideas for this blog, but I’d like to hear from you! P.S. I DID edit this blog but for some reason the UNEDITED version got uploaded to YouTube, and frankly… It’s so stupid I don’t even care. : )